Unfortunately in our society sex is seen by some as bad, dirty, degrading and animalistic. Because of this attitude, people are afraid to talk about sex. This ignorance can lead to many dangerous misconceptions about sexuality that can cause discrimination and alienation of people who deviate from the norms of sexual behaviours.
One common misconception held by society is that sex serves solely as a biological function. It is true that sex is a necessary part of life, but it can be so much more than that. Sex is about affection, if it were not, the partner, setting, emotions and consent would not matter. The emotional aspect of sex is what elevates us above animals; sex is one of our best ways to show affection.
Sex is not about what you see in porn. People making porn are in the business of entertainment. It is about what is most esthetically pleasing and it is not geared toward strengthening your sexual or emotional relationships. There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying porn, just do not take it too seriously. The best way to figure out what your partner wants is to ask them.
While for the most part, sexuality is static, it is important to understand that like any other personality trait, sexuality can change over time. If a person’s tastes, preferences and beliefs can develop and grow, why can’t sexuality? Sexual orientation is a combination of genetics, hormones and environmental influences, and as these influences grow and change, so does a person’s sexuality. This is seen especially in young people, when hormones are still developing they are trying to figure out their identities and develop sexual characters.
A lot of people are uncomfortable with bisexuality. Some people believe that bisexuals (a person who can be attracted to both men and women), are just confused, curious, seeking attention or secretly gay and in the closet. This type of attitude comes from both the gay and straight communities. People see bisexuality as a step to a “real” or more “valid” sexual identity. This is a very common mistake that is simply not true; just because a person has no preference does not devalue his or her sexuality and this kind of attitude encourages hate.
Finally, and most importantly, it is your body, and your choice. Just because you are in a relationship does not mean you should feel pressured to have sex and just because there is something you think you should do, does not mean you have to. Sex is about a mutual commitment and understanding; it is about having fun and enjoying yourself. Do what you want and have fun with it!
