We graduate from our teen years and become twenty-somethings in a few short years. For those of us in our final years of university, we’re bound to start seeing our friends get engaged and (gasp!) even starting to have babies.
It’s only natural, everyone wants babies eventually, right? Not necessarily.
Having kids is a very personal choice and like any personal choice, tons of people who aren’t involved can’t wait to share their opinions. The childless by choice tend to hear the most ridiculous things from “well-wishers” alike. Here are a few:
“You’ll change your mind eventually.”- I wish people would realize how rude it is to assume you know someone better than they know themselves. People have different aspirations and goals and some just don’t see babies as part of their plan. Assuming someone will change their mind about kids is so condescending. It’s basically telling them that you don’t take their life choices seriously until they choose to procreate.
“Your life will be so empty.” – Kids can be a huge blessing for those who choose to have them, but not everyone feels the same way. Some people want to fill their lives with travel, education and disposable income, all of which are harder (but not impossible, of course!) to achieve with kids. Saying a life without kids will be empty is like saying everything a person has achieved in life is meaningless unless they have kids, which we all know is not true.
“What if you regret it?” – There are a ton of things people regret in their lives. Although not having kids may end up being one of them, children can also be a huge burden if you’re not ready for them. Would you want to base a decision this big on the chance that you might regret your original choice? I would personally rather regret not having kids than regret the kids I have.
“It’s selfish to not have kids!” – I have a hard time wrapping my mind around this one. How is it selfish to choose against creating a human that you don’t want to take care of? Of course, it may be more selfish to want to focus on your career, spend time and money on yourself, or just want to live a quiet, peaceful life, but it’s your life to choose what you do with it. Being selfish isn’t a bad thing when it comes to your happiness.
I’m not saying having kids is a bad thing. Most people do choose to become parents and find tremendous joy in it. However, some people are just not meant to be parents and no one should look down on them for it!
The most important thing in life is looking out for yourself and your own interests. If kids aren’t in the cards, all the power to you. It’s your life and you’re not crazy for not wanting kids!