KJ’s Corner: Break Ups

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Break ups are filled with emotion and often lead to unwise decisions. They have the ability of transforming beautiful people into evil, blood-hungry savages. In this article, I am going to talk about the do’s and dont’s of post-break ups and how to get over them.

Do’s

1.) Acceptance: Believing that the relationship is over is the best thing you can do for yourself post-break up. Believing that you tried your best, and that the relationship is done for good, is the first step to moving on and healing.

2.) Forgiveness: If your significant other wronged you, forgive that person. If you hold on to the hurt and carry it with you, it will haunt your future relationships.

3.) Be Happy: Try not to think negatively about the situation. Don’t let your sadness become who you are as a person. Go to new events and meet new people. Always keep a positive outlook on life,.

4.) Don’t Bash Your Ex: This is a hard one, especially if you feel that your ex wronged you. Talking bad about your ex only gives you unwanted stress and could cause major problems for yourself. Be the bigger person, and avoid talking about them at all if you have nothing pleasant to say.

5.) CLEANSE: I believe that this is the must important tip of them all. Cleansing yourself of the relationship isn’t just to help you, it’s also helpful to the other person. Taking some time a part is a good tool to see if you guys truly care about each other. If you can go a month or two months and still miss that person, maybe the relationship is worth trying to fix. But after your cleanse is over, if you are like “who are you?,” then you know it’s time to move on.

Dont’s

1.) NO SEX: I repeat, do not have sex with your ex. This is the worst thing you can do for yourself. Having sex with an ex after a break up is on the same level as playing with fire—you are going to get burned.

2.) Fight With Your Ex: This is also a bad idea because it makes you angry. When people are angry, things that aren’t meant to be said have a tendency to start flying out. Fighting is never a good thing, and it only creates more hurt.

3.) Get Closure: This is code for “I am still angry.” By searching for an apology or wanting to know why the relationship fell apart, you are still invested. If the relationship is over, the search for closure should be over as well. If you keep searching, it may turn you into a crazy obsessive ex.

4.) Share Your Woes: If you cheated, keep your side person on the side and out of the conflict. If you have an over protective mother, keep that lady on the side as well. If you have that one friend who wants to fight your battles, tell them calm it down—I got this. Bringing other individuals in to the situation just makes things more complicated and stressful. Keep the discussion between you and your ex.

5.) Feel Bad About Yourself: Never feel that you are a failure or that you have failed in a relationship because of a break up. Always keep a positive outlook.

These are just a few tips for dealing with break ups. Every break up is different and has different outcomes. Let the dust settle, and if you two are truly soul mates, true love always wins out at the end of the day.