Casual sex is not for everybody. Often, it doesn’t work out, and can lead to hurt feelings and the loss of friendships.
However, if you and your future casual-sex partner have discussed the implications, it can be a freeing and revitalizing experience.
First thing first, always use a condom. There are no excuses for opting out of condoms anymore, particularly for individuals choosing to partake in casual sex. If you, or your partner, have a latex allergy, there are latex-free condoms available. Birth control pills (for the ladies) will not protect you from STIs; therefore they are not to be used alone. With casual sex, you might not know the other party as you would a significant other, so always put your safety first. Condoms are a necessity—if your partner refuses to wear one, it isn’t worth your time.
Speaking of safety, never agree to casual sex or becoming friends with benefits with someone you don’t trust. Make sure that you are always being as safe as possible, even if it means keeping something in your purse to protect yourself with if need be.
If you’re meeting someone for the first time, especially if you have met on an online-dating site, be sure to meet in a public place. Choose to meet at a coffee shop or a mall where there are lots of other people, and do not go anywhere secluded. Have your friends text or call to check up on you, and always ensure at least one person you trust knows when you’re on a date or meeting with someone you aren’t familiar with.
When you and your partner decide to try having casual sex, you might want to discuss some ground rules. These can be pretty simple and vary depending on who’s involved. Consider questions like the following. Is it okay if they stay the night? What are you both comfortable or uncomfortable with in bed? If you’re both pretty good friends, how do you deal with the possibility of one of you desiring a romantic relationship with the other party? Do you want to be exclusive, or be able to see other people?
Despite the fact that it is casual sex, you are starting a relationship with someone. This relationship, though it is just that, casual, can include more than sex. It may include friendship and physical affection, for example.
No matter what, both parties need to feel safe and comfortable with one another, and it can be just as difficult and complicated as dating. If you are not 100% sure that casual sex is what you want, then you are under no obligation to begin a casual relationship with someone.
If you do not feel safe, break it off immediately. Never put yourself in a situation that you are uncomfortable with, and try not to make your casual sex partner uncomfortable either.
Remember—it’s all in good fun. You do what you need to do to satisfy those desires, but don’t feel ashamed if you’d rather buy a vibrator, or a fleshlight and have some fun on your own time. Spoil yourselves, single boys and girls! Have a safe, exciting Valentine’s Day!