The Baron saves your ass: Last minute costume guide

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It’s the Thursday before halloween weekend, your shift at work just got switched and now you are free on Saturday night, WHAT DO YOU DO?!?  

Just chill, really, breathe, take a breath,  the Baron has you covered. Here is our list of cheap and easy ideas, as well as a convenient list of what not to wear this year in order to avoid getting your teeth knocked out.

Cheap and Easy

Chicken Cord-En-Bleu

Items needed:

  • A rubber chicken
  • An extension cord
  • A blue t-shirt

Put on a blue t-shirt, an extension cord around your neck with a rubber chicken tied on it and ta-da! Chicken Cord-En-Bleu! The only costume that is sure to be as annoying to explain to people as it will be to wear!

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Arthur Meme

Items needed:

  • A yellow sweatshirt
  • Blue jeans

When rocking the yellow sweatshirt and light blue jeans, be sure to keep your fists closed in order to really get the point across! Bonus points if you add a caption like this:

Bouncer

Items needed:

  • A black suit jacket
  • A dark t-shirt
  • Sunglasses

Be sure to keep your sunglasses on all night and always keep a passive face. Who knows, they might even let you into some bars for free!*

*Please don’t expect to get into bars for free because of us.

Nudist on Strike

Items needed:

  • A Sharpie
  • Some cardboard
  • Some string

Cut a piece of string long enough to tie around your neck and attach a piece of cardboard to it. With your Sharpie, just write “Nudist on Strike”. Please be sure to stay on strike while uptown!

Life

Items needed:

  • A white t-shirt
  • A Sharpie
  • A few lemons

Write “LIFE” in big block letters on the front of your t-shirt. Throughout the night, go up to random people handing out lemons. When life hands you lemons…

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Sexy Sheet Ghost

Items needed:

  • A bed sheet
  • Some sexy lingerie

Cut some eyeholes in a sheet and put some hot lingerie on top. You’ll be all the rage in the ghost world!

Costumes to Avoid

Of course, each year, there are a few costumes that are always seen as big no-no’s.

As long as you avoid these costumes, you should do pretty well on the social scene.

Anything Culturally Appropriative

It’s unfortunate that it has to be said each year, but costumes that exploit the cultures and races of others continue to be seen across the globe.

This phenomenon has even led to Disney recalling costumes that they thought were a good idea so please be respectful.

Native and indigenous cultures are cultures, not costumes. Please do not wear a headdress or anything resembling if you are not from a headdress-wearing cultural group.

Additionally, do not try to pull off black face or yellow face. This is NEVER okay.

If you are unable to perfect your costume without exploiting someone else’s culture, go as Donald Drumpf.

For examples of patented non-offensive, guaranteed to get you laid costumes, see our guide above!

Anna Rexia

Does this one even need to be explained?

Sexy Harambe

Just let it go. It’s over.

Anything Clown Related

Since there are so many people currently terrorizing citizens across North America by dressing as clowns, it’s probably best to avoid this costume, or else risk being run over. Fortunately, getting run over may get you some tuition money from a lawsuit so going as a clown might not be so bad at all…