UNBSJ announces Dragometry program (April Fools 2017)

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Calling all rectangle girls of the world!

UNB Saint John has announced that they will be adding the option for students to complete a Dragometry major or minor beginning in the 2018-2019 academic year.

“Honestly, it’s about time,” says a spokesperson for the university. “There has been a large void in our Saint John programming for a long time. We truly feel that Dragometry is the only way we can fill it.”

Courses will explore drag culture, history, performance, and ferocity. Students currently enrolled at the university and are past their first year will be given the option to start their program over again in order to pursue this new and exciting program with all their squirrelfriends.

“We are thrilled to be the first university in Canada to devote an entire undergraduate program to the art of drag,” the spokesperson continues. “This is exactly what we need to round out our incredible faculty of Arts.”

Courses range from Wig Maintenance to Tongue Popping to Library Arts. Possible career options for those considering this program include drag performer, comedian, dancer, singer, makeup and hairstylist, and, of course, architect.

Be aware – only ten students will be permitted into the program and will require an audition as well as an intense comprehensive mathematic placement test. Applications close at 11:59pm on April 31 and can be completed through eServices.

Emily is in her fourth year of Political Science. She loves studying and academics which follows into her research work. She's a stern black coffee drinker and is a proud Acadienne. When she's not working or doing school work, you can find Emily listening to 70s music on vinyl and watching Parks and Recreation. If you ask her about parliamentary institutions, she won't stop talking.