Plywood and Duct Tape: Part I

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I can feel the walls cracking,
Breaking,
The dam leaking.
It is being held
By plywood and duct tape.
The cracks are growing larger,
More and more keeps spilling out,
I keep promising myself
One more crack
Then I’ll get help.
The dam ruptures a bit more,
I make a new promise.
And another one,
And another one.
It’s not that bad,
Not really.

I make the final promise,
‘Only when the dam breaks completely’.
Am I scared of help?
Or how people will look at me,
With their dams fully intact?
When it breaks,
Can it be fixed?
Can it be fixed now?
I sit
Distracting myself,
Maybe if I pretend it’s not cracking
It won’t,
If I believe it won’t break
Then it won’t,
And then the scariest thought comes
What if I want it to?

Emily is in her fourth year of Political Science. She loves studying and academics which follows into her research work. She's a stern black coffee drinker and is a proud Acadienne. When she's not working or doing school work, you can find Emily listening to 70s music on vinyl and watching Parks and Recreation. If you ask her about parliamentary institutions, she won't stop talking.