On Monday, Feb. 9th at 7 p.m., Counsellor Kris Trotter held a lecture in the Ganong Lecture Hall Theatre entitled “How to be a Better Lover in the Age of Consent.” Over 20 students attended the ‘Sexual Ethix’ discussion, eager to hear Trotter’s thoughts and advice on consent.
Trotter has been a counsellor for 25 years and a sex educator for 30. She informed those students in attendance on the steps to saying NO, and provided them with advice on how to stay safe in a college-aged environment.
When asked what the most important part of her presentation is, and what she hoped the younger generation would take from it, Trotter stated “You are a subject, not an object. Your intimate partners are subjects, not objects. You want to be constantly, consciously ‘scanning’ to ask yourself ‘Am I getting a bright green light right now?’ If the light – yours, and your partner’s – is not bright green – stop and ask or tell.”
For those who missed the presentation, Trotter explained that sexual consent can be compared to the rules of a traffic light. If your partner is giving you a “green” light, it means that they are fully consensual and enjoying what you are doing. If your partner is giving you a “yellow” light, it means that they are not fully enjoying themselves, and that you should slow down to give them a chance to decide whether or not to continue. If your partner is giving you a “red” light, it means stop right away!
When asked why the topic of sexual consent is so important, and why the younger generation should know exactly what they are consenting to, Trotter had this to say: “I feel this topic is very important because, as a counsellor, I know that it is very tricky to negotiate a win-win with sex, especially when it is casual sex with someone you just met or don’t know well. Intimacy is such a fragile thing. People get badly hurt: physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. I want to help society develop new skills for a new era: The Age of Consent… My best advice for university students is: keep your pants on. The longer and the more often you keep your pants on, the safer you’ll be. You can still be a great lover!”