It was October 2022 at the UNB Saint John campus. Before the cafeteria was renovated, before the Ward Chipman Library was torn down, a silvery figure came to investigate. It crept inside the cafeteria and began to look around. Somehow it found its way onto a table and stood there until dawn.
The students of UNB don’t remember when they first started seeing the mysterious alien in the cafeteria. It holds its hand up in greeting, beckoning people towards their next meal. It may have been supposed it would leave after the 31st along with the other spooky figures visiting UNB for the Halloween season. But it didn’t. The mysterious, silvery alien is still taking up residence in the cafeteria.
When asked, nobody is quite sure of the alien’s purpose. “I’m not sure,” says one student with a nervous giggle. “He’s definitely here to take over the world,” says another. Most seem to think he comes from Mars, but that is still speculation.
The alien is surprisingly enthusiastic about the customs of North American university life. He comes dressed in red for the holidays, and with the school colors. “Maybe he’s here to study the eating behaviours of the wild college student” jokes one student. Considering the alien’s docile personality, perhaps this is the best guess.
Talking with the cafeteria staff reveals the true story. UNB’s silvery friend has a name, and that is Geraard. After his visit in 2022, he decided to stay on as part of the cafeteria staff. Geraard takes charge of the cafeteria as the secret head cook. He takes charge of the meal plans for the staff, taking stock of the ingredients needed for each out-of-this-world meal.
Just on February the 5th 2024, he planned a pancake day and showed off the sweet selection of toppings right next to the grill bar. Some say that if you squeeze the correct hand, UNB’s silvery cook will do a dance for you.
Even with his job, Geraard’s true motives are still hidden. Maybe he is here to take over the world. Maybe he’s here to observe us and report back to his superiors on Mars. Or maybe he found the allure of becoming a great chef too strong. For the time being, we’ll have to watch Geraard as he watches us.
