How to Netflix and chill…SOLO

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Image courtesy of exclaim.ca
Image courtesy of exclaim.ca

“Netflix and Chill.” It is the double entendre that fits the meme humour of our generation like a glove.

It sounds so innocent and slick; to unsuspecting ears just a trendy proposition to watch a show or flick at home, hiding the more risqué intentions that the phrase is more associated with now.

In the near future our kids will know it as a phrase that their parents used back in the day when dinosaurs walked the earth, they will chirp us and say how dumb it sounds and we will laugh to ourselves thinking “but without it you would not be here.”

The future aside, what I want to talk about is the present flaw (well one of them) with Netflix and chill and that is, “what if you want to chill alone?”
Leaving the more sexual form of the sport on the bench, even the literal meaning is usually a team endeavour.

Netflix and chill is not a solo game, by most definitions. (author mourns single status)

Honestly, hanging out with friends and family is fun and enjoyable, okay maybe a little bit less family, but for the most part fun. However sometimes people can be a little annoying, we do not always want to put on our social face, and do the ‘human interaction thing’, sometimes we just want to sit down watch our show without our best friend breathing in our ear or that random kid’s hand in our popcorn.

So then how do you do it, how does one Netflix and chill by themselves? It is complicated, no seriously get a pen, take notes, you are about to enroll in the school of single player chilling.

  1. Get your fat pants on: Get into your ‘no company expected mode’; it can be sweatpants, jammies, a tank top, or even dressing up as a character from your show for those creative types out there, hell you don’t have to wear anything. Optimal comfort is the name of the game, since it is just you and your Netflix.
  2. Pick your poison: There is one obvious necessity here, you need a screen to enjoy the full experience of Netflix, whether it be a laptop, a television, or a projector get it and let the chilling commence.
  3. Mark your territory: Enter the man/woman cave, take over the living room, make a pillow fort, or just lay in bed. Find a comfy place that you can relax, because if you are doing this right you will not be going anywhere anytime soon. This isn’t a 5 minute endeavour.
  4. Dead zone: Turn the phone off, lock the doors, and batten down the hatches. This is solo Netflix and chill, no interruptions allowed. Netflix is a selfish lover and does not like people taking the limelight.
  5. Feast: Buy food, bring it to the cave, and pretend calories do not exist because if they did…yeah think about the repercussions after. Will you hate yourself after gorging on snack foods while watching shows all day? Probably but it will be delicious, discount the future.
  6. Don’t stop till you get enough: Watch season one of The 100, or all of the seasons. Really want to check out Switched at Birth but you know your friends will chirp you into oblivion? They are not here, this is solo Netflix and chill, and Netflix does not judge.
  7. Use protection: Anti virus software, if you can’t afford real netflix. Couch burn and bedsores happen, it is a serious thing, switch positions, move pillows around, and make sure a few days have not passed by during your solo Netflix soirée.So if you find yourself alone this valentines weekend these are the steps to feeling ok with yourself, you really don’t need someone else anyways.